Insecurities

First of all please don't judge me on my spelling, writing, grammar and punctuation! I ain't no good at any of it. Thanks:)

I was reading Trathlete magazine and found this quote. "our insecurities keep us in a safe place and off the playing field where the chance of failure lurks." That pretty much sums up most of my life.

I'm not a mushy, emotional person at all. And I really don't like sharing my feelings but I'm going to share my struggles with insecurities with you.

I grew up hating myself. Not feeling smart enough, good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough....just plain not good enough. I remember being at gymnastics around age 6 and thinking my legs were fat and didn't want to take my shorts off. I hated having to be in a bathing suit and felt uncomfortable doing all the sports I was involved.

I became bulemic and anorexic.

I was homecoming queen, a varsity athlete, cheerleader and was voted best body by my class senior year. I was happy and perfect looking in but I hated myself for years.

I had no confidence whatsoever.....until about 5 years ago. I want to share this because because I know everyone deals with insecurities especially women.

I learned some things I want to share that might help you fight your insecurities weather it be a food issue, weight,or a fear of something that's holding you back.

I realized food is energy! I was fighting a fear of food my whole life. I thought if I ate too much I could one a few things. a. Get rid of it b.exercise it off or c. Let it make me fat. At least that is what my brain was telling me. Learning how to eat the right food at the right time took away my struggle. I no longer count calories or workout for hours hoping to burn off the bad stuff. I eat because my body wants to eat. It gives me energy.

A calorie is not a calorie. I will fight this till the day I die. You can't tell me a 300 calorie donut and a 300 calorie chicken breast are the same! A donut is full of fat and sugar that has no nurtrion whatsoever. It will leave you feeling hungry and sluggish in an hour. A chicken breast will give you protein, nutrients and will keep you full for 3 up to 3 hours. Which is better? That's a no brainier!

I learned that I was skinny fat. I was doing hours of cardio but had no muscle. For some reason we are afraid of weights and looking like men. And whoever said an hour of cardio is the law? We get on a cardio machine for 60 minutes, burn 500-600 calories then go home and tell ourselves it's ok to eat the huge bowl of ice cream. Don't lie...I know you do that! I did.

Muscle is what changes your body. It sculpts it better than any form of cardio. Don't get me wrong, you need cardio but not not 7 hours a week. Wouldn't it be nice to eat healthy whole food, and know that you don't have to burn it off? It takes all the counting out of the equation! Eating clean and adding wights gave me confidence. My war with food just disappeared!

My number one thing that changed me was knowing that God created me. He doesn't make mistakes! My favorite verse is "I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

This world is consumed with fashion, riches, fame, sex, perfect bodies and youth. I was looking to world for my confidence when I realized I can only find my confidence in God. Yes, outward beauty has some worth but it fades. What happenes when we die? We surly can't take our bodies with us. We struggle to look perfect when it doesn't matter. I lived most of my life feeling like I didn't matter. But I matter to God and that's all that counts! It takes all the pressure off me to look and act a certain way.

I've realized God created me to do His work. I need to take care of it.

I think it's funny that God turned my fear of food into a love of food! He took my crazy exercise obsession and turned it into a job that I love! Funny how he uses people in the craziest ways! We con only be strong if our strength is in him.

What are you insecure about? What makes you uncomfortable? What are you afraid of? Be honest with yourself! Fight it! Get out of your comfort zone! You can do do big things....you have no limits! I always say God is bigger!